It was all just a game to you?
by rainbow cupcake
Summary: Everything seems perfectly fine in his and Axel's relationship, when Roxas starts to notice the redhead acting more and more distant to him. When Axel finally tells him what's going on, it's not quite something he wants to hear. Akuroku. AU. -ON HIATUS-
1. Heartbreaking Betrayal

Yes. Another fanfic. And this one is going to have TWO CHAPTERS o______o

It's also going to be incredibly depressing, just letting you know. The way Roxas is feeling is based off something I've been going through with MY Axel....-we cosplay them. Well, the situation is slightly different, but the way Roxas is feeling is the same.-

**Disclaimer: Don't own, and I feel REALLY sorry for Roxas in this chapter...**

* * *

Roxas curled up against Axel's shoulder, sighing happily.

The redhead patted his hair and looked up at the clock.

"Oh, Roxas it's getting late. I should get going home."

They pushed off the couch, wincing as their legs tingled after not being used for a few hours.

Walking to the door, Roxas opened it, letting the cold night's air in.

"I'll see you tomorrow then, Axel." he smiled, leaning up to kiss his boyfriend.

Axel turned his head away.

"Yeah, see you."

He closed the door behind him, walking down the pathway in front of Roxas's house.

The blonde watched him from the window, worry on his face.

--

The next day, Roxas arrived early to school, in order to talk to his other friends.

"Zexion...have you noticed anything different about Axel?"

The slate-haired boy looked up.

"As a matter of fact, yes..."

Demyx,who had been sitting on one of the benches, leaned on Zexion's back, arms looping around his shoulders.

"I've been wondering about that too, Roxas...I mean, isn't he normally here by now?"

The front door of the school opened and they saw the redhed walk in, not really looking at anything. He glanced up and saw them looking at him. He let out a muttered curse and walked away from the small group, choosing instead to sit with Larxene, Marluxia, and Vexen .

Roxas stared wide eyed over at him, heart pounding unusually fast, as Axel tried his best to ignore the small blonde.

--

After school let out, Roxas approached Axel, nearly running so that he could catch up to the redhead in time.

"AXEL!"

Grumbling, he turned around.

"What!?"

"What's the matter with you?? You've been avoiding me and the others all day! Did we do something wrong?"

Axel stared down at him coldly.

"Roxas...I think we should...stop."

The blonde blinked, mouth opening slightly.

"Stop...what?"

"Stop being together. I just...don't really like you that way. The only reason I actually agreed to go out with you was because I lost a bet against Sora."

Roxas opened and closed his mouth soundlessly, throat raw and eyes stinging. He glared up at Axel, fists clenching.

"Y...You mean" he said, finding his voice at last. "This was all a GAME to you?!?"

Axel smirked.

"It's not my fault you were so stupid and gullible. You're such an idiot, Roxas."

It was then that a well-aimed punch shot its way into the side of Axel's face.

"You lying BASTARD!!"

The redhead wiped away the small trickle of blood that had slid from his mouth after Roxas had punched him.

"What, would you rather I go back to living a lie?"

He slid his hands up Roxas's arms, to his shoulders, pushing him towards the nearest wall.

"Go back to saying meaningless I Love You's?"

Axel leaned in, their faces dangerously close to each others.

"Back to kissing you oh so sweetly?"

"Axel...stop it..."

"But why? We both you know want this. You need me."

Roxas tried pushing him away, but the taller boy was too strong.

"Axel, let go of me!"

Instead of stepping back, the redhead leaned in farther, lips pressed harshly against Roxas's.

His eyes widened in shock, and he feebly tried to push Axel away again, but ended up just gripping at the front of his shirt.

Axel detached from Roxas's mouth, trailing butterfly kisses down his neck.

Each one was separated by a murmured word.

"You"

_kiss_

"Are"

_kiss_

"So"

_kiss_

"_Pathetic."_

What he was saying finally sunk in.

Roxas blinked back furious tears from his eyes, and swung his leg upwards, knee connecting with a certain tender part of Axel's anatomy.

The redhead sunk to the ground, letting out a loud curse.

"When I say LET GO, I mean it!"

He turned to run back to his friends, hoping that they had thought to wait for him, but Axel's foot shot out, tripping him.

The blonde managed to fall so that he landed on his back, and not his face. He turned to stare at Axel, who had partially stood up, wincing.

When he saw the look Axel was giving him, he tried to scoot backwards, away from him, but the redhead was too quick.

He pinned Roxas's arms above his head, forcing their lips together, tongue invading the smaller boy's mouth.

Roxas struggled, trying to wriggle free from Axel's hold, with no success. He tried to kick him, but his legs were pinned as well.

Axel finally let go, standing up and walking to the other end of the room.

"Wha...what the HELL was that, Axel?? First you avoid me and tell me that you don't like me that way, the next minute you're kissing me! What is wrong with you?!?"

He grinned, slightly psychotically.

"You're just too easy to manipulate. Besides, I know you too well. I know your weaknesses."

Roxas lay on the ground, staring over at him, shaking with anger.

Axel sighed, and walked lazily back over to Roxas.

Off in the distance they could hear Demyx's voice getting closer, and Zexion's occasional noises to indicate he was still listening.

"ZE...agck!!"

Axel pushed Roxas forward roughly,against the lockers, causing him to smack his head.

"Shut. Up."

"Let me go, Axel. "

"Don't you love me anymore, Roxy?"

Roxas's shoulders shook and he looked down at the ground, willing himself as hard as he could not to cry.

A warm hand forced his head back up, and vibrant green eyes stared into his own.

"Answer the question."

"I could never love someone as twisted and evil as you..."

"So I'm guessing you like lying to your dia...sorry, your _Journal_, as it says on the cover."

Axel reached into his backpack, pulling out a small book. Flipping open to one of the earlier entries, he cleared his throat and began reading it aloud.

"_You know how in fairy tales, there's always a prince that comes to the princesses rescue eventually? Well, I always thought that was a load of garbage, until I started tenth grade, today. There's a guy that transferred from one of the nearby schools, because he had more friends here (I think he knows my cousin and a few of my friends. Well, people that know my friends that I aren't that close to, but I'd recognize them outside of school.). I saw him talking with Sora at lunch, maybe I can get him to introduce us later. He seems so...perfect. I don't really know another word to describe him."_

"Axel!! PUT THAT DOWN!! How did you even GET my journal, anyway??"

"Ah, ah, ah, Roxy, I'm not finished yet. The story goes on."

Flipping several pages further, he began reading another one.

"_Axel's staying at my house tonight, because our classes are working on a grade-wide project together, and we got assigned to work together. Sora keeps bugging me about it, it's getting really annoying. I keep telling Sora that Axel isn't even aware of the fact that I like him. Well, I need to go get ready, setting up bedding and stuff like that."_

"And then shortly after, we started 'dating', remember, Roxy?"

They could hear Demyx much closer now, it seemed he was in the connecting hallway.

"Zexion, I think I heard him over here, c'mon!!"

The brunette ran through the entrance to the hallway, stopping short at the site of the two boys.

"Roxas?"

Axel took advantage of the momentary confusion to press another harsh kiss against Roxas's slightly open mouth.

"Well, I'll see you guys tomorrow then."

He picked up his bag, slipping Roxas's journal back inside it, and began walking towards the door, pushing it open with a small creak, and letting it bang shut behind him.

As soon as he was out of sight, Roxas slid down to the floor, pulling his knees up to his chest.

Demyx bent down beside him, drawing him into a tight hug. Zexion followed shortly after, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Roxas looked up at them, tears streaming down his face.

"Just let it out" Zexion said, quietly.

Roxas sniffed, lip trembling, and finally just broke down, body shaking with sobs.

* * *

I bet you all hate me now....

Sorry if they -particularly Zexion- seem a little ooc, I kinda based parts of them off of my best friends -and me-.

NOW I SHALL WRITE CHAPTER 2! -has the first bit done already-

Review please?


	2. Burn the Evidence

As promised, another chapter!! (In fact, there might be THREE.)

You wouldn't think it was possible, but I made Axel even MORE of a jerk in this chapter. -evil laugh-

**Disclaimer: STILL. DON'T. OWN. **-Oh and WOOOOOOOT!!! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!-

* * *

The next day at school, Roxas went through his routine monotonously, barely speaking to anyone.

Whenever he passed Axel in the hallway, the redhead mockingly flirted with him, leaving him even more depressed than he was.

At lunchtime he sat with Demyx and Zexion, like usual, but they were also joined by Namine. She gave Roxas an enormous hug, trying to comfort him as best she could.

In the art class they had the following hour, Namine decided to try to see how well she could chuck her drawing materials at the back of Axel's head from across the room.

The two blondes could see that he was _trying_ (keyword: trying...) to ignore the small projectiles, but his hand was clenched so tight, it was nearly snapping the pencil in his grip into two pieces.

He turned around, glaring at them.

"Will you guys STOP throwing things at me?? I'm trying to work!"

Namine stared back at him in quiet fury, Roxas avoided his gaze.

Their art teacher looked up from her desk.

"Is there a problem?"

All three of them looked up at her.

"Nothings wrong, sorry for disrupting you."

She shot them a look and then went back to marking.

Everyone in the class (minus the teacher and Axel) watched as Namine pulled her arm back as far as it would go, and let her (very full) pencil sharpener fly.

It hit Axel square in the side of the head, bursting open.

He whipped around again.

"WHAT THE HELL, NAMINE?"

She stared at him in disgust, before turning back to her open sketchbook.

Axel stood up, and stomped over to their table, eyes blazing.

He reached for the sketchbook, snatching it out from underneath Namine's arms, where she'd been resting them.

Flipping through the pages, he smirked.

"Waste of paper."

Stopping on a picture she'd done of him and Roxas, a dark shadow crossed his face and he reached into his pocket, pulling out a lighter.

He ripped out the picture, threw her sketchbook to the ground, and flicked the lighter open. Flames licked at the bottom of the paper, and it was quickly ablaze.

Dropping it to the ground, he stepped on it, putting out the fire.

"That's all your art will ever be good for, the ashes under my boot."

Namine watched in horror as her artwork burned up in front of her. She bit her lip, glaring in utter fury at the tall redhead. Standing up as tall as she could, she pulled her arm back again and slapped Axel across the face.

He stared at her, a little unsure about what had just happened.

"You...little...BITCH."

He swung his fist at her face, but Roxas jumped in at the last second, getting struck instead.

Namine screamed as Roxas fell backwards from the force of the punch, hitting his head on the desk.

Blinking to clear his head, holding the spot he'd hit, he stood up and launched himself at Axel, pinning him to the ground, raising his fists up to bash the redheads face in.

A strong hand was gripping his arm, holding it in place so that he couldn't harm Axel.

"Roxas! Stop it!"

He turned to look at his teacher, unshed tears shining in his eyes.

"Get off of Axel."

Grudgingly he stood up and walked back over to where Namine was sitting, looking a bit faint.

Their teacher stared at the three of them, concern and a slight bit of anger apparent on her face.

"The three of you have detention after school. Report back here at 3:20..."

--

The rest of the school day passed by with tension running high between the two of them, worrying their friends even further.

Namine stuck close to Roxas during the class transitions, keeping a watchful eye out for Axel, making sure he didn't come near her friend.

When the final bell of the day trilled out through the school, the three of them packed up their bags and made their way slowly towards the art room, not talking to each other.

Namine was still pissed off at Axel for burning her drawing and insulting her talents, Roxas was lost in his thoughts, and Axel had his headphones in, nodding his head to whatever he was listening to.

Walking for a few more minutes down the hallway, they finally came to the art room, and knocked on the door.

Getting an affirmative answer from their teacher, they opened the door and went to sit down in their respective chairs.

"I will be back in an hour. Please try not to kill each other?"

Grumbled "yes ma'am..."'s and "Meh..."'s were heard.

She sighed. "Good enough."

Stepping outside, she locked the door, and they heard her feet lightly tapping back down the hallway.

Axel dug into his bag, trying to find something. His eyes lit up as his hand brushed against the object.

"Hey, do you guys mind if I read something out loud? I need to study and this is the only way I remember stuff."

Roxas nodded, focusing more on the homework he'd been assigned earlier.

The sound of pages flipping softly was the only noise they heard for a few moments until Axel remarked that he'd found the page he'd been looking for.

He coughed to clear his throat and began.

Roxas was still a bit zoned out, but as the redhead read farther into it, he began picking out sentences that sounded oddly familiar.

"..._went to the movies with us today. And the greatest thing happened. I saw him talking to Sora during one of the quieter scenes, and laughing. A few minutes later, he put his arm around me. After the movie, he offered to drive me home...and when we were a few blocks from my house, he kissed me at one of the red lights..."_

"Axel!!"

Roxas stared at him in horror, and Namine looked up at the commotion.

"Give. Me. That. Back. NOW."

"Oh, but why should I, Roxy? I wanna know how the story ends."

"You already know what happens next, Axel!! You were there!"

Roxas was shaking in rage, hot angry tears spilling out of his eyes.

"Why do you insist on hurting me so much??"

He hiccuped, and bit his lip to try and stop himself from trembling.

Walking over to Axel, he held out his hand silently.

Axel feigned putting the book into Roxas's open hand, but pulled him close at the last minute.

"Axel!"

He shifted their positions so that Roxas was leaned backwards against one of the desks, arms pinned beside him.

Roxas wriggled, trying his hardest to get free. Failing that, he went with his next best option.

"Namine, help MPH!!"

Axel silenced him with his mouth, pressing almost violently against Roxas's lips.

Namine sat at her desk, completely silent from shock, hands over her mouth.

The redhead slowly, torturously, unzipped Roxas's jacket, sliding it off his shoulders.

There was an expression of absolute panic on Roxas face, and he looked over at Namine, begging her to help him somehow.

She stared at him, quivering, looking utterly helpless. Taking a deep breath in, she steeled herself and strode over to the two boys. Grabbing a hold of the back of Axel's jacket, she pulled as hard as she could, trying to get him off of Roxas.

Axel turned quickly, glaring at her, teeth gritted.

"Get off, you stupid girl."

He swung his elbow back, hitting her square in the stomach, knocking her to the ground.

"Aah!"

"Namine!"

Roxas reached for her, desperately, but Axel shifted his attention back to him, pinning him harder to the desk, fingertips sliding up under his shirt.

"Axel...let me go...please..." he whimpered, tears streaming down his face, into his hair and onto the table.

Namine coughed, trying to get some air back in her lungs, before standing up and picking up the nearest art reference book, ready to bash it into Axel's head.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the book coming down and kicked out, hitting Namine's feet out from under her so she fell and smacked her head against the floor, letting out a loud cry of pain.

Axel smirked, trailing his fingers down to the button on Roxas's jeans, slowly undoing it.

The sound of a key unlocking the door was heard and Axel sprang away from Roxas, helping him up, pulling some pieces of paper out of his pocket.

Their teacher walked in, looking curious as to why Namine was on the ground, Roxas looked like he'd been crying, and Axel was standing there looking over some papers.

He looked up.

"Oh, hello, Miss. Ameya."

"Would you mind telling me what's going on here, Axel?"

"This? We're practicing for a play. Namine got a little too in character, and hit her head on the floor. Roxas thought she'd seriously hurt herself so he started crying."

Roxas bent down next to Namine, scooping her up into his arms, hoping that she was alright.

Their teacher sighed.

"Well, it's time for me to lock up my classroom for the day. You should all start heading home. And make sure Namine is alright, I don't want her suffering amnesia."

Axel nodded, picking up their bags.

"See ya tomorrow, Miss. A!"

They headed out the school door, Roxas still carrying Namine, Axel carrying their bags.

Roxas helped the smaller blonde to her feet, checking her head for any injuries. When it was confirmed that she could at least stand on her own and walk without wobbling, he gave her a quick hug and bid her goodbye.

He watched her walk off into the distance, turning the corner to get to the street she lived on.

When she was finally out of sight, he turned around, nearly bumping into Axel.

"Why are you still here?"

"Aww, Roxy, don't I get a goodbye hug too??"

Roxas flushed.

"Not after what you did in the classroom!! You hurt Namine, and nearly raped me!!"

"Can't rape the willing."

"I wasn't willing!!"

The blonde reached for his bag, that Axel was still holding.

"Give me my bag, I need to get home..."

"I can drive you home...relieve old times..."

Roxas grimaced.

"Why are you such a manipulative bastard??"

"It's what I'm good at."

"I was actually happy with you, Axel...and you just..._used _me...that hurt so damn much. I TRUSTED you, and you broke me..."

Axel chose this moment to bend down and press a light kiss against Roxas's forehead.

"Ax..."

He pulled the smaller boy close to him.

"You'll understand eventually, Roxas..." he murmured into his hair.

"Understand what??"

"I can't say...you haven't remembered yet..."

Roxas stared up at him in confusion.

"What have I not remembered??"

"Like I said, you'll understand eventually."

Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel, holding him tightly.

"Don't let go...not just yet..."

Axel placed one hand under his chin, lifting it up.

For the first time in days, they kissed without any hatred behind it.

They separated moments later, and just stared at each other.

The redhead saw something out of the corner of his eye and he turned towards it, eyes narrowed.

"Axel?"

"Sorry Roxas, I really have to get going..."

"Why?"

"I'm not allowed to say...see you tomorrow?"

Roxas nodded, confusion still etched into his face.

They turned to go their separate ways, the sunset starting to spread across the sky.

A single tear rolled down each of their faces, but for different reasons.

If you could see into their thoughts at the moment, you would see things like "_Why hasn't he remembered yet...the others have..."_and_ "Why won't he tell me what's going on...he always did before..."_

--

When Roxas crawled into bed that night, after dinner, he slept fitfully, dreaming of fantastical worlds, people he knew that he'd met but at the same time had never seen them in his life, and himself and a certain redheaded pyro sitting together eating oddly-blue ice cream bars. _Sea salt ice cream_, his subconscious mind helpfully provided.

As he slipped into a deeper sleep, the final thought he had that night was "_Why can't I remember..._"

* * *

Awww....

. . .And this is why you don't let me listen to Chop Suey, Heaven When You Kiss Me, Taking Over Me, Haunted, I Hate Everything About You, and I Kissed A Boy (yes, BOY) on repeat while writing a fic...It goes from angsty to angry to fluff ___

THERE IS GOING TO BE A THIRD CHAPTER.

IT IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE REALLY DEPRESSING.

BRING TISSUES.

-review please?-


	3. Do You Remember?

CHAPTER 3

8DD

THERE IS ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT. This would have been OVER 8 pages had I not separated the two.

**Disclaimer: Still don't own.**

* * *

Roxas sat at his desk, head lying against the cold wood of it.

Having made the mistake of getting up too early, he had a bit of time to kill until the bell rang, signalling the start of class.

A loud thud was heard against the closed door, and Roxas's head shot up off the desk, staring at it.

"Oww, Zexy, that hurt..."

"Sorry."

The door creaked open and Demyx fell forward into the room, face planting onto the floor. Zexion followed shortly after, walking in instead, messenger bag slung over his shoulder. He shut the door and turned to face the room again.

"Oh, hello Roxas."

He waved, blearily, having slightly dozed off earlier.

"Why is Demyx on the floor?"

"He ran into the door because he _thought_ it was open...and then bumped the doorknob just enough for him to fall into the room."

Demyx reached up his arm, grabbing at Zexion's pant leg.

"Help me up."

Bending down, the slate haired boy looped Demyx's outstretched arm around his shoulders, pulling him to his feet.

Roxas watched as Demyx giggled, kissing Zexion lightly on the cheek in thanks. The paler boy flushed slightly, but walked over to Roxas's desk with Demyx, sitting down in their seats.

The door banged open, and Namine ran in, looking absolutely terrified, panting from having run so fast from the office.

"ROXAS!!"

The three of them turned to look at the blonde girl, who looked like she was about ready to cry.

"Roxas...and you two...come quick..." she panted. "Axel's in the hospital..."

Roxas shot to his feet, grabbing his bag from the back of his chair, running out of the door.

His voice echoed back into the room, urging the others to follow him.

The four teens threw open the door of the office, running over to the principals desk.

Namine spoke up, voice trembling from shock.

"H...here they are."

Looking up from his paperwork, their principal nodded, and wrote down that the four of them would be taking the rest of the day off.

As the small group headed out to the bus stop, they were all very quiet, each lost in their own thoughts. Namine placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, staring at him with sad eyes.

He looked over at her, smiling an empty, nearly broken, smile.

When they were on the bus, Roxas spent most of it looking out the window, a solitary tear rolling down his face.

Demyx sat curled up next to Zexion, arms wrapped around the shorter boy, lip trembling. Zexion ran his hands through Demyx's unruly hair, comforting him.

Finally arriving at the hospital, they walked as calmly as their shaking nerves would allow, up to the front desk.

After getting Axel's room number, and a warning that he might be asleep and not to wake him, the small procession headed over to the elevator that would take them up to the 8th floor.

Stopping in front of a door, Roxas looked at the number he'd written on his hand with one of Namine's markers.

"Room 813. Okay...let's go in..."

The door creaked softly as they pushed it open, trailing into the room.

Namine nudged Roxas forward slightly and the rest of them stepped back, sitting in the chairs left there for guests.

He walked to Axel's bed, hands stuffed in his pockets so the others couldn't see how bad he was shaking.

"Axel?" he murmured, worriedly.

Stunning green eyes blinked open slowly, and he turned to look at Roxas.

"Hey, Rox."

Tears were shining in Roxas's eyes, and he smiled, trembling.

Axel reached a hand up, bringing Roxas's face close, pulling him into a soft kiss. When they broke apart, they looked over at the others.

Zexion and Demyx looked relieved, both that Axel was alive, and also that he and Roxas were back together.

Namine, still a little distrustful of the redhead, scowled up at him, but upon recieving a look from Roxas, her scowl melted into a small smile.

The peaceful moment was broken by Roxas's cellphone ringing rather loudly, and he scrambled to grab it out of his pocket and answer it.

"Hello??"

His over-exhuberant cousin was on the other line, speaking about double the normal human talking speed.

"Sora. Calm down."

Roxas walked over to the corner of the room, still talking to him.

"At the hospital"

He listened for a bit.

"No,no,no, I'm fine. Axel's the one that's hurt."

A slightly annoyed look crossed Roxas's face.

"You don't really _have_ to come. Stay at the school."

He sighed, placing a hand on his face.

"Fine, see you in a bit."

Turning back to the people in the room, with a slight twitch in his eye, he breathed out, calming himself.

"Sora's on his way over"

Axel groaned, shutting his eyes. Roxas sat down next to him, twining their fingers together apologetically.

Ten minutes later, the hyperactive brunette raced into the room, and they could hear cries of annoyance coming from the patients in the surrounding rooms. Apparently he'd been being a little loud.

Following closely behind him, due to their hands being linked, there was a bored-looking silver haired teen.

Axel tried to sit up, but sank back down onto his pillow with a pained moan.

Sora and the newcomer walked farther into the room, and Axel's eyes met the others.

"Riku." he muttered.

"Fancy seeing you here, Axel."

The corner of the redhead's mouth twitched as his face turned suddenly displeased.

"Shouldn't be such a surprise to you, as it's thanks to you that I'm in here in the first place."

Sora blinked, looking confused.

"What, Riku took you to the hospital?"

"Nah, he's the reason I'm IN the hospital."

Roxas's eyes widened, and he stared over at Riku in quiet fury.

His cousin still looked a little befuddled.

"Why is he the reason?"

Axel stared at him, wondering how someone could operate on that few braincells.

"Sora. Do I NEED to spell it out for you??"

Receiving another blank look, he beckoned the brown-haired boy closer.

"The reason I am in the hospital, is because your oh so wonderful boyfriend decided to beat the shit out of me yesterday."

Sora gasped, and looked between Riku and Axel.

"Y...you're lying!!"

"Am I now? Then how, pray tell, did I end up like this?"

The brunette bit his lip, thinking.

Without warning, he shot a fist out at Axel's face. Roxas only just managed to catch it, inches away from the redheads nose.

"Sora! What the hell is wrong with you!?" he yelped.

"Axel's LYING!! Riku would never hurt anyone!!!"

He took another wild swing at Axel, actually making contact this time. Axel grunted in pain, then spat out a small drop of blood from when he'd bit his lip during being hit.

Roxas let out a cry of rage, jumping off the bed to smack his cousin, when he was stopped by Riku.

"Don't touch him."

The silverette had an almost painful grip on Roxas's wrist, and he squirmed to try and get away from him. Pulling back his fist, he tried to swing at Riku's face, but that hand was caught too.

Demyx shot up from his chair, stepping towards them hurriedly, reaching out to pull them apart.

"Guys, please don't fight! We're in a hospital!!"

Riku grunted in annoyance, letting go of one of Roxas's wrists, swinging his hand toward Demyx to swat him away.

He used a little more force than he had intended, and he struck Demyx across the face, sending him tumbling backwards into the legs of one of the unoccupied chairs.

A quiet moan of "Ow..." echoed up from the floor, and the music-lover clutched at his forehead where he'd gashed it slightly on the chair leg closest to him.

Zexion stood up quietly, walking slowly over to the small group in front of him. A hand shot out, and he soon had Riku's shirt clenched in his fist, holding him still.

"Do NOT hurt Demyx." he growled.

With more strength than any of them knew the shorter boy had, he shot his fist out at Riku's face, smashing into his cheek with a sickening CRACK.

Namine jumped at the sound, curling up in her chair and wincing.

As the silver-haired boy let out a cry of pain, Zexion let go of his shirt, and he fell to the ground.

A nurse ran into the room, and saw Riku lying on the floor with large red mark on his face, Demyx with a bleeding forehead, Zexion turning to check if he was alright, Sora nearly in tears, Namine cowering in her seat, and Roxas sitting back on Axel's bed, examining his face where Sora had hit him.

"What is going on here!?" she cried, staring at all of them in shock and annoyance.

Zexion stood up, pulling Demyx to his feet.

"We were just leaving." he responded, calmly. "Would you happen to have some disinfectant and a bandage on hand? He got a bit scraped up."

She nodded, slowly. "Um....Visiting hours are nearly over, so could I ask you all to leave?"

They all answered an affirmitive and filed out of the room, Zexion leading Demyx down the hallway with an arm around him.

Sora had his hands in his pockets, avoiding Riku's eyes, walking slightly away from him.

Namine trailed after them, wrapping her coat around her small frame, sensing the sadness that was radiating from the two in front of her.

Axel looked up from his bed as Roxas was about to walk out the door.

"Rox! Wait..."

The blonde boy turned around, staring at him.

"Shut the door?"

He nodded, closing the door softly, then walking over to Axel's bed, sitting down next to him on it.

"What is it, Axel?"

"I just wanted to say goodbye to you without everyone else in the room. I was feeling a bit squished with the room that full."

Roxas slipped his shoes off, curling up against the redhead.

"Same."

Reaching over, Axel brushed away the blonde strands from Roxas's face, so that he could see him clearly. He slipped his arms around him, pulling the smaller boy into a tight hug.

"I love you, Roxas." he mumbled into his hair, closing his eyes so he could try and keep him in his arms for as long as he could without interuptions.

Roxas pulled himself up slightly, pressing a kiss to Axel's lips. "Me too."

They looked over at the open window, and saw that it was getting later in the day. Roxas grumbled, burrowing back into Axel's chest.

"I have to get going home, my mom's gonna wonder where I am."

He gave Axel another kiss, and then slid off the bed, putting his shoes back on and making sure the laces were tight.

"Rox. When you get home, check your coat pocket. I left something there for you to read. But do it when no one else is around to look at it, okay?"

Roxas stared at him, worried.

"Axel...what are you not telling me??"

"It explains it all in the note. Please, Roxas, don't ask any questions right now...Just know that, no matter what, I love you. Okay?"

He nodded, leaning forward to loop his arms around Axel's shoulders, kissing him, trying to return the thought as best he could.

Axel pulled the blond to him, holding him tightly.

A light knock sounded at the door and they pulled apart slightly.

"Yeah?" the redhead called.

One of the nurses walked in, and then blushed, seeing how close the two of them were.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry for interrupting!" she blurted out, backing up slightly.

Roxas pecked Axel quickly on the cheek, and then got to his feet, smiling.

"It's fine, I was about to head home anyways."

The blonde nurse still looked a bit flustered, mumbling apologies into her clipboard.

Roxas held out a hand to her, "I'm Roxas. And you are?"

She held out her own slender hand. "I'm Alice."

He shook it gently."Very nice to meet you Alice. Well, I must be going now, it's time for dinner for me. Have a nice day."

Turning to Axel, he leaned over to kiss him, murmuring a quiet question about which pocket the note is in.

"_The left one_." he whispered back, before pressing into the kiss.

Roxas nodded, and then stood up.

"See you tomorrow, Axel. Love you."

"Love you too, Roxy."

Alice was still standing quietly in the doorway, but she made a small noise of surprise when a hand tugged at her arm from behind.

She turned hurriedly, staring at whoever the hand belonged too.

Roxas and Axel looked over at the door as well, and saw a teenage boy with messy purple and pink streaked hair, and...cat ears?? on top of his head. They twitched lightly, appearing to be real.

"Cheshhh. I told you that you could come get me AFTER my rounds were over. I'm not off for another 5 minutes." she reprimanded him, jokingly.

He leaned forward, kissing the tip of her nose, which made her giggle.

"I'll wait outside the door then."

She nodded, turning back to the two by the bed.

Roxas took that as a silent cue that it was time to leave, and he waved to Axel, smiling.

The redhead returned the gesture slightly half-heartedly.

When he and Alice stepped outside, the cat-boy picked her up by the waist, and spun her around once, before pulling her in for a proper kiss.

Placing her back down on the ground, she was smiling nearly as wide as he was.

"Roxas, this is Cheshire. Cheshire, Roxas."

They shook hands, Roxas wondering in his head if the boy ever stopped smiling.

"Well, I have to get going now, I need to head home."

As he walked down the hallway, they called goodbyes to him, waving.

On the bus ride home, Roxas rested his hands in his pockets, and felt the piece of paper Axel had left there.

_Only read this when no one else is around._

The blonde rested his head against the cool window, staring out at the houses they passed, mind running rampant with unanswered questions.

When he finally got to his house, he pushed the door open softly, looking around for his mother. She was standing at the kitchen stove, preparing a pot of spaghetti for supper, and the scent of garlic bread wafted out of the oven when she went to check on it.

"Mom, I'm home!" he called, kicking off his shoes.

"Hello Roxas! Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes, so don't get too comfortable, alright?"

Calling out an affirmative as he ran up the stairs, he began pulling out the piece of paper as he reached the final step. Steadying himself, as he had nearly fallen, he walked the last few paces to his room, shutting and locking the door behind him when he had gotten inside.

He strode quietly over to his bed, lying down on his chest, and unfolding the paper, exposing Axel's handwriting. It seemed like it had been written with a shaky hand, something that puzzled Roxas. What did Axel have worrying him, to have been writing that quickly and sloppily??

_Dear Roxas....nah that sounds too cheesy...Anyways..._

_You wanted answers, right? Well, they weren't exactly things I could tell you in public, because people would think I was making them up, and call me crazy. (Well, crazier than I already am.) _

Roxas smiled, reading that line. The redhead always DID know how to make people laugh with his antics.

_Going back to what I was trying to say...Well...you might not believe me, but I'm making sure you read this alone so that I can't stop you from knowing the truth._

_We were all...reborn...into this life, Roxas. You, me, Zexion, Dem, Riku, Sora, Nami...everyone we know. Well, most of them anyways._

_You, me, and eleven others (Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saix, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene) were all a part of a group called Organization XIII. We were all 'nobodies', who had no hearts. Xemnas was the leader of all of us, and the order we were in was our rank in the Organization. You were number XIII, and I was number VIII. _

_I have no idea why you haven't remembered any of this...I was talking to Larxene and Marluxia a few days ago, asking if they did (which they had), as well as Zexion, Demyx, and the others. Even Namine remembers snippets of it._

_Riku remembers too, but be careful of him. It's about midnight now, and I'm writing this by the light of my DS, because I don't want the nurses to know I'm up. That silver haired bastard is the reason I'm in the hospital, because he attacked me after we'd parted ways after school. Did a damn good job of it too, I could barely call for help before I lost consciousness. (They won't tell you that at the hospital though. It was just an "accident". Apparently Mr. Perfect is loaded.)_

_Be wary of your cousin as well. Chances are he's remembered too, after Riku reminded him of a few things. _

_Kairi probably isn't as big a threat, because she was less involved, but still...I don't trust them, Roxas. PLEASE be careful tomorrow at school. I get the feeling that Riku is going to try something. _

_**Don't. Let. Him. Hurt. You.**_

_I don't want either of them hurting you or me...not anymore..._

_We have to get away._

_But...you probably won't like how we have to leave._

_In order to be reborn again...weelll ya kinda have to die..._

_You're going to like this part even less, Rox..._

_If we want to be reborn together...we have to kill each other._

Roxas stared at the note, horrified.

"WHAT!?"

He blinked back startled tears from his eyes, continuing to read.

_I'm really REALLY sorry about this Roxas. If there was any other way, I'd take it. But I've searched and searched, even got Zexion to do some research for me (since whenever he's not being dragged to the arcade by Demyx, he's got his nose in a book...okay yeah, he does that at the arcade too, but that's not the point.) and we've found nothing._

_Ever since I found out that Riku, Sora, and Kairi remembered as well, I've been trying to figure out a way for us to leave them. Because I couldn't stand someone taking you away from me,Roxas. I love you too much for that._

_Anyways, call me tomorrow, when you get out of school._

_If Riku comes after you, RUN. Run as fast and far as you can, until you can find me. I'll probably be at home, I wanna leave this damn hospital as soon as I can._

_I know this is all hard to belive, Rox...and I'm sorry for acting like such an ass earlier. I thought if you'd get mad enough at me, then you'd either remember, or want to kill me..._

_Not the brightest when it comes to planning, am I?_

_You're either reading this late at night, or right before dinner, right?_

_Get some rest, and try to eat something. _

_Give a hug to your mom from me, okay?_

_See you tomorrow._

_I love you._

_~Ax._

Folding up the letter again, Roxas clutched it tightly against his chest, rolling over so that he was facing up.

"Axel..."

He lay still, closing his stinging eyes, trying as hard as he could to remember.

Black cloaked figures...a castle...

A loud knocking noise sounded at his door.

"Roxas!! It's dinner time!" his mom stated loudly, continuing to knock.

He rolled off his bed, placing his feet lightly on the ground.

Pulling open the door slightly, he looked from her to the plate of food she was carrying for him.

"You've been looking a bit out of it this whole week, so I decided that you need your rest. Stay in here and relax, watch a movie or two, and eat this, okay?" she handed him the spaghetti and bread filled plate, and he walked across his room to place it on top of his dresser.

"Thanks so much, mom."

He reached forward, hugging her tightly.

"Roxas...what's the matter, you're shaking..."

"Mom...if...if I vanished off the face of the earth, what would you do?"

She sighed.

"Have you finally remembered?"

Roxas pushed back from her, eyes wide.

"WHAT!?"

"Axel told me about all of it...and he was wondering if you would ever remember..."

She pulled him to her, holding his shaky frame as closely as she could.

"Mom...did he tell you what I have to do?"

Hesitating for a moment, she shakily replied "...yes."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"It'll take some time to getting used to not having a son anymore...but I do want the two of you to be happy..."

A single tear rolled down her cheek, closely followed by several others.

"Mom, please, please don't cry."

She reached over to the tissue box on Roxas's desk, grabbing out a few, dabbing at her eyes.

"May I have some time to my self now?" he questioned.

His mom nodded, wrapping her arms around him again, quickly.

"Come say goodbye before you go to school, Roxas?"

"Of course."

She paused as she was about to walk through the doorway.

"Thank you so much for being my child."

"I love you mom. See you in the morning."

The door closed with a soft click, and Roxas turned to his bed, picking up the note from Axel. Sliding off his shirt, not bothering to change his pants, he curled up with the letter in hand.

Tears began to pour silently down his cheeks, until he was sobbing soundlessly into his bedsheets, gasping and hicupping every so often.

Finally he fell into a fitful sleep, unable to close his eyes for very long, for fear of seeing the small, black, insect-like creatures with glowing eyes, reaching for him, as though to tear him apart.

_Axel...Help me..._

_

* * *

_Sorry if I made any of you cry....

Just a forwarning the next -and final- chapter, is going to be way sadder than this, so I'd advise getting a box of tissues for yourself.

As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read my fics. ^^


	4. Bloodied Playground Sand

Aaah DX I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN FOREVER!!

I've just been REALLY busy lately and my laptop is also dead, so I can't write on there...

This is the first half of the document I'd been working on, because I wanted to upload SOMETHING to make sure you all don't kill me for not updating XD There is more, but it shall be in the next, and probably last, chapter.

WARNING: ROXAS ABUSE. LOTS OF IT.

* * *

When Roxas woke up in the morning, he wandered around in a daze, getting all of his stuff together.

He walked into his mothers room, set down his bag, and gently shook her shoulder to wake her up.

"Mom? I'm...I'm heading out now."

She mumbled softly, but blinked to open her eyes.

"Roxas?"

"Yes mom, it's me...I'm leaving now..."

Her eyes shot wide open, and she reached out to grip his sleeve, pulling him towards her.

"Stay. Stay for just a few more minutes."

"Mom...I can't. This is just as hard on me as it is on you..."

She held him close, struggling to hold back her tears.

After about five minutes of them just holding each other, Roxas finally stood up.

He walked silently towards the door, picking up his bag again on the way out.

"I love you mom." he mumbled over his shoulder, just loud enough for her to hear.

"I love you too, Roxas. Be happy, alright, honey? Say hello to Axel for me."

As soon as he'd shut her bedroom door, and his footsteps were heard walking down the hallway into the kitchen, coming back out, and then opening and closing the front door, she broke down into sobs.

Roxas stepped quietly out into the morning light, not looking back at the house behind him. He walked slowly towards his school, eating the piece of bread he'd picked up before he left the house, not wanting the day to end. He watched the sidewalk as he strode over it, noticing all the little insignificant things he wouldn't have noticed ordinarilly.

Stepping through the opened gateway, Roxas trudged up to the front door of the establisment, pulling it open half-heartedly.

He saw Zexion, Demyx, and Namine sitting on one of the benches near the entrance, talking about random things.

Namine had her sketchbook open, pencil flying over the page, and she looked up at Zexion and Demyx every so often, probably drawing them.

Roxas shuffled quietly over to his friends, dropping his backpack onto the ground next to them, and sat down next to Namine.

"Hey."

She jumped, tapping her pencil harshly against her paper.

"AH!"

The blonde girl stuck her hand into her coat pocket, pulled out a clickable eraser, and cleared up the damaged area.

After she finished brushing the eraser bits off her sketchbook, she looked over at Roxas.

"Hello!"

He nodded at her, looking at what she'd been vigerously sketching. It was indeed a picture of his two friends.

They all sat there in silence for a few minutes, before Roxas spoke up.

"Guys...I only stopped at the school to say goodbye...I'm not gonna be here tomorrow."

Demyx looked over at him.

"Will you be here the day after?"

He gritted his teeth.

"You guys don't get it, do you."

Namine gasped.

"You're not _moving_, are you, Roxas?!?"

"Guys! I've figured everything out, okay? Now I know why I've been remembering such weird things lately, about all of you. You don't have to hide anything anymore, because I KNOW what you've been keeping from me. Axel explained it all."

A harsh silence spread over all of them, the other three looking horrified.

"Shit..."

They all looked over at Demyx.

"Roxas...he wasn't supposed to tell you!!"

Zexion shook his head.

"He asked me for research help on stuff like this...but I never knew he would actually TELL you..."

Roxas stood up, grabbing his backpack off the floor.

"I'm leaving now, guys."

They watched him shuffle quietly towards the front door, push it open, and then walk out of their lives forever.

A single tear ran down Namine's pale cheek, and Zexion pulled Demyx closer, squeezing his shoulders, before the dirty-blonde haired boy burst into silent sobs.

After the doors closed behind him, Roxas broke into a full out run, biting his lip.

Cold eyes watched him run off, a horrible smirk playing across the watchers face.

A long abandoned playground came into view, and Roxas collapsed at the gate of it. He trudged towards the swingset and threw his backpack into the baby swing.

Sliding up onto the one closest to him, he swayed back and forth aimlesly, resting his forehead on the cold chains.

The soft crunch of footsteps across the sandy ground made the gloomy blonde look up, staring at the silver-haired boy that was standing across from him.

"Riku."

"Roxas."

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I was just on my way home. Wasn't feeling well."

"Yet you decided to stop here?"

"I needed to rest for a moment."

"Apparently, judging by the way you ran here from the school."

Riku walked calmly around behind the swingset, and the hairs on the back of Roxas's neck prickled. He turned slightly to see what the silverette was doing, only to feel the bottom of said boys shoe pressing into the small of his back, forcing him forward off of the swing.

Sand flew up into his face as he hit the ground hard, the wind forced out of his lungs.

He coughed, trying to get the sand out of his throat and mouth, only to have his face crushed down into the sand again, courtesy of Riku's foot.

Roxas struggled to get up, but Riku shifted his foot from the top of his head, to his back, pressing down even harder.

"Ri...ku....get off of me..."

A soft chuckle echoed across the playground, and the two of them looked towards the noise, Roxas with slight difficulty.

Sora smiled over at them, walking slowly to meet up with the other two.

Placing a hand lightly on Riku's shoulder, he leaned forward to press a short kiss to the taller boy's lips.

Riku smirked, returning it.

"Hey Sora."

The brunette slid down, trailing the hand that previously occupied Riku's shoulder, after him.

"Roxy, Roxy, Roxy. Why are you on the ground?"

Roxas looked over at his cousin, a glare of pure loathing planted firmly on his sand-covered face.

"I'm on the ground because your goddamn boyfriend won't get off of me. Not that you really care, do you, Sora? Both of you just want me gone, don't you."

Sora motioned for Riku to take his foot off of his cousin.

"Sounds about right, Roxas."

He held his hand up at Riku, pulling himself to his feet.

Roxas sat up, wiping the sand off of his face, spitting out the bit that had gone into his mouth. Turning back to them, he was met with a converse to the face, courtesy of Sora, that knocked him back onto the ground, blood trickling out of the fresh cut on his lip, staining the sand.

He rolled over, getting clumsily to his feet, stumble-running over to the creaky wooden childrens play structure, shoes pounding up the stairs, determined to get to the slide on the other end of the set up, so he could get down it and away from the others..

Riku swung himself up from one of the metal climbing bars, landing just a few centimetres behind the scared blonde.

"Hello, Roxas..."

Roxas turned, a look of utter terror in his eyes..

"Care for a nice spin down the slide?"

The silverette shot his arms out without warning, shoving the other boy toward the slide, making him trip and go thudding down the since-faded orange contraption, banging into all the curves the slide had, bashing his head against the static-laden plastic. He tumbled out onto the ground, dizzy and beaten, clutching his throbbing head.

Footsteps drew closer, and he opened his eyes to see the green of his cousin's shoes.

All he could hear was the cold, cruel laughter coming from Sora's mouth, just before he recieved a well placed kick to the stomach, which made Sora laugh even harder, as Roxas lapsed into a coughing fit.

"What's the matter Roxas? Not going to fight back?"

Roxas swung out his foot, trying to trip his cousin in order to get away, but Sora easily dodged it, bringing down his own onto the blondes arm.

A loud cracking sound ripped through the air, and Roxas screamed in pure agony, his arm broken.

Stepping back, the brown haired boy walked over to Riku, who had just slid down the firestation-like pole, and laced their fingers together.

"Roxas." he called.

Looking over at them with half closed, defeated looking eyes, Roxas saw the two of them smirking at him.

"I just can't wait until you're dead."

With that final remark, they turned, leaving the battered teenager in the sand.

Reaching out in front of him, Roxas dragged himself by his good arm towards the edge of the playground, the broken one sliding along the ground next to him,until he got enough strength back into his legs for him to stand without falling over. He got up, clutching his forhead as a sudden wave of dizziness overtook him, bile rising in his throat. Swallowing and coughing as he tried to force it back down, he headed back to the swingset for his bag, sliding it gingerly over his broken arm, then began making his way towards Axel's house, brushing sand off of his clothes as he walked.

* * *

Bwuahahahaa, I made Sora and Riku into total assholes XDD

-feels bad that I continually abuse my favorite characters like this...-

But anyways, PLEASE review if you want to see the next chapter!! (ALSO IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS FOR THE ENDING, 'CAUSE I'M TOTALLY STUCK.)

(And one of the reasons I've been slow in updating is, my life has changed SO much since I first started writing this fic. Personal problems mentioned in the first chapter have gone away ^^)


	5. HIATUS

I'm putting this story on hiatus.

I'm not sure when I'm going to continue it.

I started writing this when I was going through a really bad time in my life, but now things have really changed for me.

I have some ideas for how I might want to finish this, but please do not pressure me into writing more.

This story was mostly written to vent, and personally I don't like it all that much (except for some parts that I really do).

I've improved considerably as a writer since I wrote this,  
and my writing style has somewhat changed, so I'm not sure if continuing this would be the best, because it might seem.  
choppy? I dunno.

I MIGHT continue this.

I do have a partial idea for the ending.  
It's just getting there that's the problem.

Thank you for sticking with me through this fic everyone,  
and I hope that those of you who really enjoy it have quite a lot of patience.

Please read what else I have written, if you enjoy my work.  
Thank you :) 


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